Revisiting the Crone

long silver haired old woman

In February I wrote a post on the Crone which you might have read. Today I want to delve deeper into this important feminine archetype. Scholarly books have been written on Her and I think she deserves more than a single essay. I hope today’s will be a view or preview depending on the age you are now. I’m so grateful for arriving at this last stage of a woman’s development, a process which has been long and involves a change which is truly radical. If you are standing on that threshold, this is especially for you.

So what is an archetype you may be wondering. Let’s begin there then. Archetypes are universal, inborn models of distinct aspects of identity and personality that play a role in influencing human behavior. No matter the culture and no matter the time, Mother, Maiden, and Crone, for example, represent universal meaningss and patterns. In Jungian thought, archetypes reside in the collective unconscious where so much of the ‘important stuff’ is. Additionally, they have two sides…creative and destructive.

It used to be that people thought once we reach late middle age, we become static. I have the image of withering away. And in fact, I know people who believe this. I find it sad they feel as if they’re marking time…nothing to look forward to, nothing to do, no new horizons…waiting to die, really. Some are my age or younger. From where did they get this attitude? Why, the culture and frequently relatives and peer groups. We live in a youth idealizing culture. We want to look young, often assisted by cosmetic alterations and act young by staying abreast of the current music, fashions, and trends. It’s important to retain youthful attitudes and we struggle to hold on to youthful abilities and stamina. When, despite all of that effort we begin to fall further and further behind in the striving, no wonder people give up, become hopeless or apathetic and mark time until they die.

Arriving at middle age is agony for those who cannot accept the mature beauty of autumn.

They see their wrinkles hardening into lines, and new liver spots appearing every day, without the compensating mellowing in their soul.

Without the rites of the elders, they cannot look forward to holding a position of honor in their society, nor in most cases will they treasure their own wisdom.

For some, even the dignity of death dare not be contemplated. — Marion Woodman, The Pregnant Virgin, Page 16

It’s only been in the last 30 years or so that attention has been paid to the transition beginning in our fifties when we are no longer in our prime to our 70’s when we are not yet truly old. And this is some transition! We undergo a profound transformation…physically, psychologically, mentally, and spiritually. I know this from my own experience.

It’s confession time: I once thought becoming a Crone meant reaching a certain birthday and ta-da, a Crone…some version of a still attractive, vital, silver haired old hippie. Hah! The reality is that the face, the figure, the stamina, the flexibility (physical and emotional) and mental acuity seem to be slipping away if not vanishing completely. What in hell, I found myself sputtering. Who am I if I am not the person I was ? And that, dear Beautiful Stranger, is where we begin.

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The long and short of it is that so much of the old has to die to make room for the new. This is not easy. Deterioration can feel loathsome and frightening. There’s no going back. How often have I heard people say, “Oh, you can’t let yourself go.” Dear One, you’re going, I want to say but they don’t want to hear it. I know they aren’t ready to hear from Debbie Downer, not even when she’s a friend.

At the time the transition into becoming a Crone begins, sadly we have no rituals to mark a woman’s standing on the threshold of old age. This is typical of Western cultures. In contrast, some societies still enact initiatory ceremonies. One which comes to mind is in indigenous tribes when boys reach puberty and are taken away from their mothers by the men in the tribe to engage in trials and testing. Often body tattooing or scarification occurs at the end of the ceremony to mark them as grown males.

For many women in our culture, not having symbolic rituals is a catalyst for the Self to create a way. I am not alone in experiencing this almost unconscious development of marking a new phase by the following:

• wearing new colors (leaving Eileen Fisher and becoming drawn to bright tops and sweaters)

• some women show a new color in their hair…no longer coloring it and just letting it be whatever natural color it is turning out to be…or having ‘unicorn’ hair which I considered for about half a day but decided it wasn’t for me even if it was temporary

• planting new garden areas

• culling ‘stuff’, passing it on, simplifying surroundings

• taking a serious interest in Carl Jung

• looking to the late Marion Woodman as a guide

• keeping a Dream Journal

• enrolling in Jungian Dream School

• enrolling in a women’s group to study Fairy Tales and their application to psychological development

• creating a Substack

• immersing myself in nature

• living more freely, no longer feeling constrained by the collective, demonstrating my individuality

Without societal support the journey may seem lonely at times. We can draw our own support from reading and studying the Greek goddesses Demeter and Hecate, for example. We can find guidance and inspiration from elders who have gone before such as the late Marion Woodman and I often return to her writings. Other women who have written on this profound transition are:

• Jean Shinoda Bolen (especially “Goddesses in Older Women”)

• Clarissa Pinkola Estes (these days found in Sounds True audio books speaking on the Crone).

  Here’s a quote: “The old one, The One Who Knows, is within us. She thrives in the deepest soul psyche of women, the ancient and vital wild Self. Her home is that place in time where the spirit of woman and the spirit of wolf meet the place where mind and instincts mingle, where a woman’s deep life funds her mundane life.”

• Helen Luke (“Old Age:Journey Into Simplicity”)

• Connie Zweig (“The Inner Work of Age: Shifting From Role to Soul”)

  Here’s a quote: “The result is a new found freedom from the constraints of past roles and identities, an emerging sense of becoming who you were always meant to be, and a profound gratitude for the way your life unfolded. As we make this internal shift into awareness, a natural generosity arises within us, and we seek to share our gifts of love and wisdom as a lasting legacy.”

• Jane R. Pretat ( “Coming To Age The Croning Years and Late-Life Transformation”….one of my favorites)

Now the good news… at the completion of this transformation you will experience what I referred to when I first wrote about the Crone…new growth on old wood. Yes, it is so.

Here are some things to expect:

• a feeling of renewed vibrancy

• a continuation of participating in the outer world but the self is engaged in deeply introverted tasks far from the outer scene

• becoming acquainted with death: here is a quote from Edgar Herzog in “Psyche and Death”…Only a man (woman) who is prepared in his

  soul to pass through the Gates of Death becomes a living human being.”

I could offer an exploration of the goddesses associated with the Crone as well as how She is present in fairy tales. Please let me know if you might be interested. I love sharing this.

And speaking of sharing…please share your reactions, thoughts, and experiences. You may be on the threshold, might possibly have experienced this transformation, or haven’t ever thought about how this could possibly relate to you (that was my younger self). What a great adventure.