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Sarah Barker's avatar

Such an interesting read thank you Frances xxx

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KC12's avatar

Thank you for embarking on this series; your writing is so clear and the steps inviting and (relatively) easy to practice. Your term "benevolent dictator" reminds me of a gestalt therapist who uses the term "belligerent compassion".

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Frances Ray's avatar

Thank you, KC12. How well I know the feeling of “belligerent compassion”. Another interesting phrase is “radical genuineness” of the DBT therapist who learns to be very real and herself with clients…none of that ‘blank screen’ nor the ever soothing good mother bit.

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KC12's avatar

That "radical genuineness" is a quality I deeply value, hard to find and often criticized as "unprofessional" in the community of therapists and counsellors.

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Linda S's avatar

I always wished I had studied Gestalt at a much deeper level!

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KC12's avatar

A friend, John Callahan, has written an excellent book, Gestalt Therapy in the Tradition of Dick Price: https://www.amazon.com/Manual-Gestalt-Practice-tradition-Price/dp/1304962474

Kindle d/load is reasonable.

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cate kerr's avatar

Thank you for this, Frances! I look forward to integrating DBT into my daily life. There are no hummingbirds here yet, but my new feeder is in place, and I am hopeful. This week, I took the summer feeders, bird baths, deck chairs, and occasional tables out of the garden shed and set them in place. Since they are heavy, it was quite a task for this old hen. Apart from flowers, veggies and herbs which will be planted during the third week of May, we (Beau and I) are ready for summer.

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Frances Ray's avatar

It’s a time of such promise as we ready ourselves for the summer. A week of rain is in the forecast but it’s all for the good and as I look beyond the deck to the woods, the familiar wall of green is fast obscuring open spaces.

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Judith Oakland's avatar

Very helpful, dear Frances! Basic tools and guidance for the “inside “ job … I’ve been struggling with bringing wise life balance.. working four days a week as a therapist and keeping the beautiful home and life going that I have here in the Sangre de Cristo Mountains - at 75….

It gives me lots to work with, 🙏🏼🌷💕🙏🏼sending appreciation fellow traveller🥰

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Frances Ray's avatar

Thank you, dear Judith. I admire your dedication to continue with clinical work. Presenting DBT put me back into my old therapist role and how much I loved it despite how the after hours calls for coaching on evenings and weekends. Weekly meetings with therapists who coached the therapists and brought one another back to wise mind in doing DBT was the fuel that kept us going. Marsha was a genius.

Enjoy spring in the Sangre de Cristos!

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Elizabeth Gelfeld's avatar

It's taken me four days to find enough quiet moments at once to read this wonderful post, and it is so worth the wait. Learning about DBT is timely for me, and I can't wait to get into your "What" and "How" skills. Oh my goodness, that storm! I hope the damage you reported here was the worst of it. And, I'm so happy your hummingbirds have arrived! Probably we have them here, too, but so far no one in this household has had time to put out the feeder.

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Frances Ray's avatar

Your comment is music to my ears, Elizabeth. I can blather on about Carl Jung but I just don’t view Jungian thought as practical…no surprise since it wasn’t meant to be. This week I’m doing a longish tutuorial on the “What” and “How”, skills then let readers digest that before moving on to Distress Tolerance Skills. My umbrella spines have been Duck-taped together in a nice green and hopefully it will last. I consider myself lucky that no trees were uprooted as many people experienced.

Sending loving thoughts for a happy Mother’s Day.

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Emily Lovegrove's avatar

Hmmmm. Realise I think of myself only in emotional mind. And of others only in reasonable mind.

No wonder wise mind escapes me.

Interesting!!

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Frances Ray's avatar

Hi, Emily. You are in the company of many...

Your wise mind hasn't escaped, however; it's 'in there'.Thank you for your comment.

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Emily Lovegrove's avatar

My neurodivergent brain is inclined to categorise…

I understand its difficulties but get frustrated with the rigidity!!

But your thoughtful piece aids understanding. Thank you 😊

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Barbara Graver's avatar

This was an interesting post, Frances, and very understandable. Thank you!

I hope you got your umbrella back!

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Frances Ray's avatar

Thank you, Barbara. The umbrella, I’m afraid, is beyond repair but trees were uprooted so things could have been much worse.

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Linda S's avatar

Thank you Frances. You write so well and now I am going to be the good student and re- read and take notes. It is so rich with hope and possibilities.

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Frances Ray's avatar

Thank you, dear Friend. Writing on DBT was a re-experiencing in how much I enjoyed working with clients.

xx

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Linda S's avatar

I feel such gratitude for being able to work as a therapist for those many years and for being able to sit with people as they processed. Such a privilege. I probably will always miss this work.

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