The Spring Body Audit

Even before we flipped the clocks an hour ahead to daylight savings time, for many women, the Spring body audit began.

“Eh?” you may be wondering. Indeed. Whether or not piles of snow are still lying about, we anticipate and are primed for taking stock of how close or distant we are from a Spring or Summer body. This is to say, whether we be willing to accept our reflection in the full length mirror whether or not we’re able to comfortably fit into clothing we wore a year or more ago.

Do men do this…seriously? I doubt it. I know some men subscribe to this substack (very few) and if you are one, please chime in. Otherwise, today may not have a post that will interest you.

So, here it is, the first warm-ish day of late Winter and with it comes the experience of not having to wear a long down coat. The timing of the audit is not accidental. Our wellness and fashion industries have learned to hand off seamlessly, like relay runners:

January belongs to the “reset” — cleanses, gym memberships, the language of discipline and fresh starts. By March, the baton has passed to something more specifically visual. Now it’s about revealing. Shorts season. Bare arms. The body that was allowed to hide all Winter, and now expected to account for itself.

What’s being sold, underneath all of it, is the idea that your body is a project with a deadline. Winter was a grace period, and grace periods end. The cruelest part is how the messaging wraps itself in the language of care — nourish yourself, invest in yourself, you deserve to feel good. It has learned to sound like self-love while functioning as its opposite. An invitation that is also a verdict. Have you experienced this? I have, most often in gyms or pools, women covertly observing, judging, and comparing the Other to Self.

This is not new. It’s older than Instagram, older than ‘women’s’ magazines (not just fashion magazines.) And we have the ‘Wellness’ industry which often says ‘nourish’ but at the same time means ‘shrink.’ GLP-1 medications have more effects than regulating/aka decreasing appetite. They have utility in controlling diabetes, obstructive sleep apnea, some forms of chronic liver disease and chronic kidney disease. As you may know, there is a strict criteria for being prescribed the medications (for example Wegovey and Ozempic) .. a BMI of at least 27 with associated medical conditions. Are there ways around this? Well, seeing photos of ‘red carpet’ events where formerly ‘average’ women are now verging on emaciation, I would say so. Few admit they’re doing GLP-1 injections. It’s chocked up to life style choices and exercise. I’ve done Pilates and yoga and never achieved those results. You?

How did body scrutiny take hold? To be fair, a women’s body is often in process, more so than in a man. We develop breasts, hips, have our menstrual cycles, become pregnant, nurse, and are menopausal and then post-menopausal. Our bodies are expected to change. This is the natural order. We notice and judge as we move through our hormonal life cycle.

Each year I look forward to Spring. It always is late and short in my part of the world yet one advantage of Winter is that the body is simply allowed to exist in those cold dark months before becoming a public matter again.

Spring closet change-over…this is when the assessment shifts into full swing. Here’s an anecdote. At the end of last Summer, I donated things which looked tired, a bit warn, faded and the like. This week, deciding to go into Marie Kondo mode, I opened boxes and tried on tops and bottoms. The tops are never a problem apart from an excess of mariniere/Breton striped tees. The bottoms, ah, they were the problem…too tight in the waist and some, uncomfortable in the butt. Tight clothes have never been for me. What happened next?

It would be a lie to tell you that I’ve done the work, accepted my physical self, unsubscribed from fashion sites and came out the other side into any uncomplicated relationship with this body. That would make a better ending. It would also be a lie. I haven’t and at my age, it’s unlikely I will. (I do appreciate that this particular body carries me through the world despite various ailments and often pain. At least, that’s something and I know people less fortunate.)

What actually happened is more ordinary and more honest. I noticed the audit begin and participated in it anyway.. partly. I stood in front of the floor length mirror, rolled my eyes at myself and then kept judging. This is not a failure of feminism or self-awareness. It’s just what it is to be a woman who grew up inside this culture and is still, stubbornly, living inside it.

What has changed — and this is not nothing — is that I can see the machinery now. I know where the feeling comes from. I know that the sudden dissatisfaction that arrives with the longer days was not born inside me but installed there, early and efficiently, by a culture that has always profited from women’s unease with themselves. Knowing this doesn’t make the dis-ease disappear. But it creates a small, crucial distance between me and the assessment clipboard. Enough space to ask: do I actually believe the belly, the batwings, the butt, cellulite, and crepey skin define me?

Most days, that space is enough. Some days it isn’t. Both are true, and I’ve stopped trying to resolve the contradiction into something tidier.

I’m changing my eating habits (reluctantly)…less cheese, fewer pasta and rice dishes, not snacking…in order to lose 5-8 lbs. That’s doable and maybe my one ‘bad’ knee will benefit. I also purchased 2 pairs of Uniqlo jersey barrel pants which actually do look good on and do not create a bow-legged effect as, to my eye, some of those more extreme ones do. That’s it…I’m ready to spring into the light and get on with life. Wish me luck,…in June, I’ll be walking with a rather long short 4- legged companion sprouting wiry hair who cares nothing about his/her appearance, just being in the world is more than enough. Every dog lives in the Now and can teach us a thing or two.

Now it’s your turn, dear Friend. Have you been doing a spring body audit? Are you at peace with your physical being?